Christmas can be a particularly stressful time of year for people living with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)—but a top psychologist says there are lots of ways to survive the festive season.
The neurodivergent conditions, which are present from birth, can make certain situations and sensory experiences hard to navigate.
And, as Christmas tends to make everywhere louder, brighter and busier than usual, with crowded shops, flashing lights, festive music and constant social noise, people with autism and ADHD can rapidly feel overwhelmed.
Dr Selina Warlow, founder of The Nook Clinic said: ‘As December approaches the daily routines shift, responsibilities increase and the pressure to keep up with festive expectations mount.
‘Choosing gifts, remembering who you need to buy for, planning when to shop and organising the day itself and deciding what to cook all require sustained focus and forward planning, both of which can be challenging with ADHD.
‘Financial pressure is another major challenge. Budgeting is not always easy for people with ADHD for example, and the festive season brings additional costs. Even with the best intentions, sticking to a budget can become difficult.’
Meanwhile, for autistic people, she said there can be extra ‘unpredictable elements, changes to routine, social interpretation’ and ‘even small events may feel stressful when they are unexpected or require switching attention quickly.’
Another challenge comes from the social demands of the festive season, with parties, get togethers and long stretches of time spent with family triggering emotional and physical burnout.
But although this time of year can pose extra difficulties, Dr Warlow says it’s possible to ‘create a festive period that feels not just manageable, but genuinely enjoyable’ by following her seven tried and tested tips.
And while these tips are helpful for the estimated over two and half million Britons diagnosed with ADHD and over 700,000 diagnosed with autism, they can also be used by people potentially living with it who are as yet undiagnosed.
It comes amid a significant rise in the number of people realising they may have undiagnosed autism or ADHD, which has resulted in long waiting lists for diagnostic assessments.
Figures earlier this year revealed 549,000 people in England were waiting for an ADHD assessment at the end of March—up from 416,000 the previous year – and of those waiting 144,000 have been waiting for two years or more.
Meanwhile, recent figures show in June this year there were 236,000 people waiting for an autism assessment – which is a nearly 12 per cent increase since the same time last year.
Planning
It is common for people with neurodevelopment conditions like autism and ADHD to struggle with executive functioning, and this can manifest as a reduced ability to cope with everyday tasks like planning.
But Dr Warlow says preparation is still possible—and a lot less intimidating—if you break down the seemingly endless list of tasks you need to do into easier, more manageable steps.
For example, she said this could be ‘writing a list of all the gifts you need to buy’ as well as ‘setting a clear budget for each’ which can help avoid last-minute panic and impulsive spending.
This is also helpful when approaching the mammoth task of cooking and serving Christmas dinner.
‘Choosing the menu, writing a shopping list and breaking the cooking into manageable steps’ can ‘make the whole process feel calmer’, she said.
Sharing the load
During the season of giving you may want to go all out to make the day extra special for the people you love.
But Dr Warlow says it’s when ‘people feel they must do everything themselves’ that ‘Christmas often becomes overwhelming’.
So, she says delegation is essential.
This could involve ‘asking others to lighten the load by bringing a dessert, help wrap presents or take responsibility for one part of the meal.’
And, if you all chip in at the same time, you can turn it into a ‘body doubling’ exercise.
A recent trend on social media, it is a motivational hack to get a boring or unappealing task done by having a friend do an imposing task of their own simultaneously together.
In a video, posted by therapist Simone Saunders on her page @simonecsaunders, she described how it can help people with ADHD ‘get s**t done’.
She said: ‘Essentially, it’s just working alongside someone. That could be in person, FaceTime, virtually.’
Keeping things simple
It’s only natural to want to plan lots of things to make the day feel extra magical, particularly if you have children, but Dr Warlow says there’s nothing wrong with keeping it simple.
‘A simpler Christmas is not a lesser Christmas,’ she said.
‘Removing unnecessary extras can make the season far more enjoyable. For example, you don’t need matching pyjamas to have a great Christmas.’
This can be helpful particularly for people with ADHD as it can help lighten the load because of something known as cognitive load theory, which says working memory is only able to hold so much information.
Intentional rest and stepping away
It may feel like there is no time to rest but Dr Warlow says ‘Taking time to look at your social calendar and identify where you can fit in quieter days, early nights or ‘duvets’ can prevent burnout.
Autistic individuals, she explained ‘may need time alone to regulate and decompress’. She added: ‘Some benefit from creating a predictable retreat with dim lights, weighted blankets familiar scents or calming sensory tools.’
But whichever neurodivergence you have, ‘if tensions rise at home, taking space can make all the difference. A short walk, a breath of fresh air or simply stepping out of a heated moment can help avoid conflict. ‘
Drinking sensibly
If you consume alcohol at festive gatherings, you may be looking forward to sharing a drink with friends and family, Dr Warlow advises planning how you’ll consume a healthy amount.
‘Managing drinking at celebrations and planning how to do this beforehand can be helpful if you drink alcohol,’ she said.
You may want to think about alternating alcoholic drinks with water or setting a limit beforehand.
‘For example, ‘tonight I will have two drinks’. This can support impulse control,’ she said, adding that impulsivity is another symptom of ADHD which has been linked to alcohol misuse disorders.
Sensory strategies
It can be a particularly overwhelming time of year sensory wise for autistic people, says Dr Warlow, but she says, ‘noise cancelling headphones, avoiding flashing lights and wearing comfortable clothing under festive outfits can help’.
Previous studies have shown co-occurrence between autism and avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) which the NHS defines as when someone avoids certain foods.
This means when it comes to the Christmas dinner, an extravagant meal that can include lots of foods that autistic people aren’t used to can be overwhelming.
You can bypass this by sticking with familiar foods or serving up a ‘safe’ meal.
Utilising strengths
While people living with autism and ADHD may face extra challenges over the holidays, Dr Warlow says ‘they bring many strengths that can enrich Christmas for themselves and others.
‘People with ADHD often bring warmth, humour, and energy to gatherings, while autistic individuals often bring sincerity, reliability, calmness, and the ability to create structure,’ she said.
‘By acknowledging the challenges and celebrating the strengths of both ADHD and autism, the festive period can become not only manageable but meaningful, joyful, and aligned with each person’s needs and abilities.’
