British men are more polite than women, a study has found.
But the surprising reason for men being better-mannered is largely due to them using words like ‘mate’ more.
This casual greeting expresses ‘solidarity’, and makes people feel approved of, according to the linguistic analysis, which makes it polite.
Northerners, however, may have to concede that they are no more polite than people living in the south, based on the findings.
Instead, it is people who live and were born in rural areas who are more polite than those in and from urban areas and cities, researchers found.
Because they encounter fewer people in everyday life, people in rural areas may not have picked up the so-called habit of ‘urban incivility’, where people are more likely to ignore one another.
The results are based on an analysis of 10.8 million words uttered by almost 700 British-speakers, who agreed to record themselves to capture day-to-day conversations at home, work, and in settings like pubs, cafes and hotels, between 2012 and 2016.
Men were calculated to use more expressions of politeness in conversation than women.
However this result was largely due to the word ‘mate’, which men used almost six times more often than women.
Males were found to say ‘mate’ around 700 times in every one million words, while females used ‘mate’ only 120 times in every one million words on average.
Professor Jonathan Culpeper, a co-author of the study from Lancaster University, said: ‘Words like “mate” are very important for being polite to others.
‘They suggest solidarity – the feeling that if someone calls you “mate”, you have things in common, they sympathise with you, and like you.
‘Expressions such as “mate” help to strengthen social relationships.
‘So while people might instinctively think women are more polite than men – the tendency to use words like ‘mate’ is one reason why men create a better impression overall.’
The study set out to look at three types of politeness, including the kind expressing solidarity with others, which includes the words ‘mate’, ‘pal’, ‘love’ and ‘pet’, and the expressions ‘take care’ and ‘night night’.
The researchers also examined politeness which involves being deferential to others, like saying ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’, thanking people, or addressing them by their titles such as ‘Mr’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Doctor’.
Finally they looked at the type of politeness involving ‘tentativeness’, which avoids imposing on people or being too direct.
This category includes the word ‘please’, phrases like ‘could you’ and ‘would you mind’, and phrases like ‘kind of’ and ‘perhaps’ when giving opinions.
People living in, or born in rural areas, more often used deferential and tentative politeness than those living or born in urban areas, although there was no north-south divide for good manners, as has been suggested in the past.
Lead author Dr Isolde van Dorst, from WU Vienna University of Economics and Business, said: ‘People in the countryside and predominantly rural areas tend to be polite in a different way, which we call negative politeness.
‘They feel they are being polite by giving people space, and not imposing on them, intruding or taking up their time.
‘They are also more likely to address people with their titles, such as Mr or Doctor, and use greetings like “hello” and “goodbye”.
‘People from rural areas perhaps adopt this verbal politeness because they come into contact with fewer people, so it is simpler to maintain a high usage of politeness expressions.’
The study interestingly found women reduce their politeness level at work, while men do not.
Women use less deferential language in an office or workplace than they do at home and in public.
The authors suggest that men and women are often held to different standards when communicating at work, and women may be judged negatively for using a ‘powerless’ style if they are too deferential and courteous.
Approximately 94 per cent of the recordings analysed captured conversations between family and friends, around three per cent between colleagues, two per cent between acquaintances and the remaining one per cent between strangers.
There were no significant differences in politeness found between different ages, social classes or differently educated people.
The study is published in the Journal of Pragmatics.
