Kelsey Parker says ‘I can’t believe I am back here’ in first TV interview since death of her baby Phoenix – three years after losing her husband to cancer

Kelsey Parker opened up about the devastating loss of her baby Phoenix on Thursday’s instalment of Lorraine who was ‘born sleeping’ – three years after she was widowed.

The 34-year-old appeared on the ITV show to chat to Christine Lampard, 46, about the tragic loss of her third child in June who she shares with boyfriend Will Lindsay, 27 and said: ‘I can’t believe I am back here.’

Her recent heartbreak comes three years after her husband Tom Parker – who she shares Aurelia, four, and Bohdi, three with – died from brain tumour aged 33. 

Christine said to Kelsey: ‘You’ve had to learn to live with various coping mechanisms since Tom passed away, suddenly you’re having to tap into those again. 

‘I know the children have been, and always will be this driving force for you… you still have to make them breakfast, take them to school. You still have to create a normal life for them…’

Kelsey said: ‘My kids are my everything, they have got me through the darkest of times, I can’t believe I’m back here three and a half years later dealing with such a loss and a devastation but me and Will have the kids and they have to have normality, they have to go to school.

‘I did do the school run and for me, I think you have to rip the plaster off at some point, and if I’d left it until after the summer holidays and I came back and saw the parents, people don’t know what to say, we are so awful about talking about grief, loss and death and us as a family, we’re not.

‘So, I did get up and do the school run, I faced everyone.’

Kelsey also explained how she explains to them what has happened to their little brother. 

She explained: ‘It’s being honest, it’s telling them facts because I never wanted them to feel like I’ve not been honest…

‘I don’t like the thought of them being in separate rooms to adults and adults having separate conversations because kids listen.’ 

Kelsey added: ‘They’ve gone through this before, they’ve lost their dad, they know their dad is with the angels now so we’ve said Phoenix has gone with your daddy.’ 

When Christine asked her how she and Will are doing, she said: ‘We just take each day, and each day looks so different for both of us but I’m strong.

‘I keep saying this but I am actually really strong and the one thing that we are guaranteed is that we are going to die and I do think talking about death and grief is so important.’ 

Kelsey revealed that she was pregnant with her third child back in January this year. 

But she revealed the heartbreaking news that her son Phoenix was stillborn when she was 39 weeks.

She posted a poem which stated: ‘For Phoenix. 

‘Born sleeping, forever loved.

‘The world grew so quiet as you arrived. So loved, so longed for, yet not alive.

‘Our precious boy, our angel light, born with wings, took silent flight.

‘We named you Phoenix, brave and bright, a soul of love, of warmth and light.

‘Though we never heard you cry, you’ll live in hearts that won’t ask why.

‘No breath you drew, no eyes to see, still, you mean everything to me.

‘You’ll journey with us, softly near, in every sigh, in every tear.’  

 Kelsey went official with Will back in September last year. 

It comes after podcaster Kelsey revealed that she is taking ‘each day as it comes’ in a recent interview.  

In her first interview since the tragedy, she said: ‘I didn’t think I’d be living a relived experience, first losing Tom and now losing Phoenix. 

‘But I think with any grief and loss, you have to take each day as it come and work through it.’

Kelsey and Tom started dating in 2011 after they met in 2009.

The pair tied the knot in 2018. 

If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact The Lullaby Trust on 0808 8026868 

Lorraine airs ITV weekdays from 9.00am.