- Have YOU got a story? Email tips@dailymail.com
Liam Payne‘s sister has posted a heart-breaking tribute to the late star, on the six-month anniversary of his tragic death.
The One Direction singer died on October 16 aged 31 after falling 45 feet from his third-floor hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Taking to her social media, his sibling Ruth Gibbins shared fond memories of the musician in an emotional post, but admitted that ‘living without him has been impossible.’
She wrote: ‘Six months, half a year without you?!
‘My head is still screaming for you. Each morning on waking, I feel like I am plunged underwater, gasping for air that never comes to relieve me.
‘Living without you is impossible, so for now, I exist. I’m learning to laugh or smile in the right places, but mate, it’s exhausting when all I want to do is speak to you.
‘In the few moments I allow myself to feel love and not just loss, I can really smile at memories of us, like last year when we were doubled over laughing at us trying to make something we’d seen on YouTube, but memories are always tinged with sadness at how unfair it is we can’t make new ones.
‘I can sometimes hear you laughing at me walking around like Whoopi Goldberg in “ghost”, looking for you everywhere I go. I see you though, you’re always coming through in different ways to put me back on the right path.
‘I can’t process what’s happened and the finality of it, you know I will never stop doing all I can for you.
‘I miss you loudly, quietly and in all the moments in between. Love you so much more than these words or my tears are capable of expressing but I know you know this.
‘For now, I’ll meet you in my dreams.’
Ruth also added a throwback photo of the pair which sees Liam wearing a zipped jumper and her a leopard print dress.
Liam was found dead by police six months ago following a fall from a third-floor balcony in Buenos Aires.
He was laid to rest in a moving ceremony on October 31 after his body was returned to the UK, with all four members of One Direction attending his funeral.
Three days after his death, Ruth paid a heart-wrenching tribute to the star on Instagram.
She wrote on her Instagram: ‘I don’t believe this is happening. Many times I have poured my heart out publicly with pride about Liam but never much about life as his sister.
‘Liam is my best friend, no one could ever make me laugh as much as him, doing his impressions always had me creasing and he loved seeing how much of a laugh he could get.’
Ruth revealed she learned how to drive after Liam got through to the X Factor live shows when he was 17 as she ‘couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to get to him’.
She continued: ‘I would regularly drive to have tea with him after I finished work, just to sit around. One month the hotel was right by a wagamamas and I swear he had it morning, noon and night!
‘I used to love picking him up from work when it all started especially after concerts, speeding us away from venues and appearances, Liam plugging in his phone to show me the new songs for his albums.
‘Liam loved 1D, he loved his brothers and we talked about it so much. He would just play song after song that had been recorded but never used and we’d sit having a mini 1D concert.
‘Liam knew he could call me anytime, any day and I would pick up or that I would always fetch him if he needed to just come home. Our calls would often result in me laughing at his ideas and next adventure, talking through his plans and working through his issues but it would always end with “love you miss you” “love you ru”.
‘Liam was born with music in his veins, it was clear from a very young age he just had that quality that would make him a star. I could sit and listen to him sing all day, which is a good job really because he never bloody stopped!
‘I will never tire of the look he gives when showing new songs, ‘listen loud’ he’d say and just grin with pride of his work.
‘I keep notes on my phone ‘things to tell Liam’ so that if he was away working for a while, I’d know what I needed to update him on. I suppose it’s only right I tell him now.’
Speaking to her brother directly, she continued: ‘Liam, my brain is struggling to catch up with what’s happening and I don’t understand where you’ve gone.
‘What I do love most about you is your ability to make me laugh, I never chuckle as much as I do when I’m with you with anyone else.
‘I don’t feel this world was good enough or kind enough to you, and quite often over the last few years, you’ve had to really try hard to overcome all that was being aimed at you.
‘You just wanted to be loved and to make people happy with your music. You never believed you were good enough, I hope you can now see this outpouring of love that you never received in your time.
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. One last time I need you to know, I’m here if you need anything, I’d drive to the end of the universe to bring you back.’
It was revealed last month that Louis Tomlinson will never be able to reunite with One Direction after the death of his former bandmate.
The ex-pop star, 33, is said to ‘despair’ at rumours that the surviving members could play together again, with the tragic balcony fall drawing a line under their previous successes.
The boyband were mooted to perform at this year’s Brit Awards in a final tribute to their friend, but reportedly turned down the offer with insiders sharing that they feel it could distract from remembering Liam at the event.
Louis has reportedly now moved on from the band – and is focusing on growing his clothing brand alongside tours as a solo artist.
In a warning before interviewing the Back to You hitmaker, The Standard was told by his representative that a story had ‘been running that the boys are going to reunite at the Brits for Liam’.
‘Louis just despairs,’ they said. ‘He could never get up there and sing as part of the band after what has happened.’
Friends of the band have since claimed that the trauma behind touring in their teenage years has also contributed to their decision not to reunite.
And sources close to the Brits have added that there was ‘absolutely no interest’ shown by the boys when they were asked by the committee if they would consider performing.
Louis and Zayn Malik are said to remain close, having been a trio with Liam, although they have become estranged with Harry Styles. Niall Horan is believed to have ‘moved on’ and now runs a talent agency for golfers alongside performing as a solo artist.
They were brought back together for his funeral, but even then they were not seen talking as a group.
‘They have happy memories, particularly of the early days, but towards the end things got pretty dreadful and they began to despise One Direction,’ an insider told The Mail’s Katie Hind.
‘There’s no way they would get back on that stage, even Liam’s death wasn’t enough.’
