A grief-stricken mother told an inquest she felt ‘let down’ by authorities after her mentally ill daughter killed herself.
Louise Fender’s 26-year-old daughter Rosie Fender was scared of going outside, had trouble sleeping, and was hearing voices when she died in February 2022 after laying down on a railway track near Romsey, Hampshire.
She had been living in multiple locations after moving out of her family home aged 18, initially to stay with her former IT teacher, Nicholas Haines, who Ms Fender said had ‘groomed’ Rosie as a schoolgirl.
The inquest heard Haines had been jailed due to the relationship, which began after he gave Rosie private guitar tuition from the age of around 14.
In the months before she died, Rosie was drinking to excess, would clean obsessively, and was convinced she was going to meet and marry broadcaster Bear Grylls.
The talented dancer’s family and Haines said NHS community health provider Southern Health offered virtually no support to Rosie, in spite of the level of need.
Rosie’s mother broke down in tears when she recalled being ‘passed from pillar to post’ seeking support from authorities.
She said: ‘I felt powerless. No one would listen or take me seriously. I felt no-one understood her or understood her or how ill she was. I felt seriously let down, and I can never forgive them for that.’
The inquest in Winchester heard Rosie was so paranoid about germs that she showered for up to eight hours at time, often refused to go outside or let people into wherever she was living, and drank glasses of water through a straw due to her fear of contamination.
Rosie told her mother an ‘evil entity’ was stopping her from sleeping, and she told her mother daily that she was suicidal.
Ms Fender said: ‘Her mental health felt more like that of a 13-year-old. She missed so much because of her relationship with Nick, she was completely isolated from her family and she had no friends.’
She added: ‘Although I didn’t approve of the relationship, I couldn’t do anything about it.’
Mr Haines described himself to the coroner as ‘a friend of Rosie’s’ who ‘looked after her for many years’.
He said Rosie was one of his students and that one day ‘she opened up and said she had been through a lot in her life’
He said: ‘We started seeing each other, we both knew it was stupid. It was something that should never have happened. Massive regret about what happened.’
Haines said he met up with Rosie again after she turned 18 and he served his sentence, and the pair started a relationship.
They moved to various parts of the UK, and that her OCD started getting worse.
He said she began keeping ‘notes on herself and Bear Grylls’ and said ‘she worked out she was going to meet him on a specific day at a specific time – When she didn’t meet him she was so down and suicidal.’
He said Rosie moved to Southampton when the 2020 lockdown hit, which he said ‘came at the worst possible time’ because she was no longer able to socialise.
She later went to see a ‘witch’, and Rosie then made her own ouija board. He said it was at this point she started hearing voices.
Haines said he was no longer in a relationship with Rosie when she died, but continued to visit her daily and care for her as a friend.
He denied any suggestion he prevented Rosie from seeing her family.
He said: ‘I was always saying you need to see your family, I needed the help – but she only let me. I felt people didn’t believe her, what she was going through. She needed urgent help.
‘I needed more help, but it was difficult when for so long she was refusing the help. With her OCD, I think Rosie thought she would get over it herself.
‘If she had got support, she would have had something to fight for. She needed someone from the mental health team or just a professional to tell her it was going to be alright rather than just (giving her) a pill.’
He said she was constantly given ‘negative news’ about waiting lists and delays when it came to involvement with medical professionals.
The inquest heard Rosie moved again, to Eastleigh, shortly before she died.
This meant she was no longer within the geographical boundary that covered her mental health services team, and she had not registered with a new doctor’s surgery.
Her previous GP Dr Bram Ganesan said: ‘It does seem there is a strict cut-off for the boundary issue, and she wanted to stay with the team.’
He said it seemed that ‘bureaucratic dictation got in the way’.
Rosie’s mother broke down in the witness box as she described how her life ceased to be ‘in technicolour’ since her daughter’s death, adding: ‘Every day when I wake up, it’s like I’m in a kaleidoscope of hell.
‘My life is completely hollow now that Rosie has been taken away from me.
‘I felt my daughter has been failed. She was individually let down by people who were meant to help her.’
The inquest before area coroner Rosamund Rhodes-Kemp is due to conclude next week.
- For confidential support, call Samaritans on 116 123, visit samaritans.org or visit www.thecalmzone.net/get-support
