“Well, it’s rather brutal here. We’re advising all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into canned food and shotguns.” Some sage advice from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, talking, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At face value, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. However, in a weird way, it’s also pretty solid life advice. Seriously, hear me out.
When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin knows this. In fact, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) have the same sly, self-aware sense of humour when it comes to the blurry line separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and the older I get, it’s the theme that resonates the most.
Of course, my attachment to this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. Growing up, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an off-brand video shop and boasting snarling creatures on its knackered cover. I was immediately enamoured and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my childhood viewing routine.
Dante’s original typically gets all the praise, thanks largely to its legacy as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. However, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d lock myself inside and stick it on. When I got my own TV-VHS combo (remember those?) it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Over time, it ingrained in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they didn’t seem to mind.
As I grew, new insights rewarded repeat viewings, elevating the fun of watching little green monsters gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was inspired directly by future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his real-life counterpart.
The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world really ended. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film varying versions of a self-referential segment where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. One for cinemas, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.
While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms telling me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque defiance and determination to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.
When I experienced a sudden family bereavement earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Maybe not. The nostalgic calm it provided was needed to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the stuff it had given me as an adult was just as useful.
Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just can’t control. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to be like them: embrace the chaos, put everything you’ve got into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously. It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.
-
Gremlins 2: The New Batch is available to rent digitally in the US, UK and Australia
